Too depressing even for editing

MyroneTadrid
@notsoaveragejoe what happened? you seem full of regret and disappointment (U)

As I read my tweets from this past Halloween weekend, I guess you could conclude it was quite dark and blah. The reoccuring theme of my life: "judge me by what you see me put facebook, tweet, and blog about". No hard feelings though, Tyrone was close to it if anything, I just never realized how dark the hole I've been living in lately was until he pointed it out. As I'm typing this out, the rain has just ceased, it's dark outside, I'm too lazy to read and do schoolwork, perhaps the perfect condition for depression...or a nap.

This past weekend was supposed to be the best one of my life, as life will teach you, you don't always get what you expect or want. It was alright, and that might even be an exaggeration, definitely not how Halloween night should be :( I was way too excited to be wrapping up midterms and right when I thought the rainbow was within reach, this morning I figured out that I have a book review for Monday, and a bibliography and thesis due on the 12th, whatever day that might be....not fun, I guess you really can't reach for a rainbow.

The weekend, Thursday night at work was kinda dope, one of the best night I've had at work in a while, everything was pretty solid, things were running according to the plan and it went well, smoothly, no rush, no nothing, I hope the same thing works out this Thursday, it feels great to know you're doing your job well and you're on top of errthang :) After work, an early start to the weekend, you know the deal, yesyesyes. Friday was the same level of mediocrity, I did my thing with the Metrotown Hall of Famer: Michael Jordan Cadang, went to Richmond, Hons, couldn't finish all 12 of my Potstickers :( Chilled at Tittimelon, lawlz. That was that. Saturday was a failed attempt to what was supposed to be an epic night, I have a faint memory of it all but I acted like a total idiot before crashing at Peter's, that's something I can remember. If weekends are like this, then fuck it all, I seriously see no point in living...

What the fuck am I doing with my life? What are you doing with yours? It looks like we live for Fridays and when it comes around, it's like we get mugged unexpectedly, and then you wake up to face the reality of Monday morning... Even if you did have something to do on the weekend, what is it? Get drunk, get high, fuck a girl, fuck a guy? Am I just fucked in the head or too old, or is anyone else with me when I feel like there's something missing, that we should be doing other things, and not just the vicious cycle of teenage life? It kills me to think I have no choice but to conform sometimes, I feel bored to the bone way too often.

Let me put it in FarmVille-ic scenario. You can't just live off your animals and trees, I mean you could, but it'll take you years to get somewhere. You need to toil the land, and plant something, you need to wait for that something to grow, adn when the time is right, you need to harvest it, and then you reap the benefits. Along the way you need to help people with the ravens, gophers, and weeds of life, noone can do it alone. Only they you will see progress, just like life, I got the idea in my head, I just can't get my hands and feet to work towards it.

There was once a boy named Johnny. He liked to think of himself as a knight though he really wasn't, he was just an average guy who lived his life from day to day. In this far way land where dragons and other mythical creatures existed, it wasn't uncommon for knights to rescue beautiful princesses from former castles taken over by dragons and other ghouls, and it was every boy's dream to do so, Johnny was one of those boys. Not far from the Johnny's town was the castle that housed the most beautiful of them all, Princess Kayla. Like most princesses, she was of royal blood, through an unfortunate event, loss everything she had in her life as a vicious dragon destroyed everything in her family's kingdom, only sparing her life. Day by day, knights would come and try to conquer the vicious dragon but would fail to do so, until a time came when no one ever tried anymore. This made the princess very sad on how all these glorious and majestic men failed to save her, and the rest were afraid to try, she grew into some sort of a hermit, accepting a fate that will doom her to death, with no hope of being rescued. One day when Johnny was in the woods he came across the old castle, he kept his cool cause everyone knew dragons slept during the day, and he did his thing. He was cutting wood and as the afternoon was nearing, he decided to sit down and chill. To his surprise, Johnny sees the princess, and through some even more twist of events, she approaches him. They talk, until the time came that the dragon was about to wake and Johnny had to go home, so him and Princess Kayla parted. He asked her "Why don't you escape in the mornings?". She answered, "I need to know if someone out there is willing to love me with their entire life so I can do the same to them, and not until that man comes and saves me, I will be locked up in this castle........and that the dragon has a curse upon me, and he must be killed or he'll just find me anyway". The princess was not just a beautiful girl, but she also had a great mind and a big heart, and after he talked to her that day, Johnny could not stop thinking about her. Johnny would pay many more visits to the princess, and day after day, he only grew to like her more. The day came when Johnny knew he needed to save this princess and save her from her hell, and so that he could show her the rest of the world, his world. He got his armor together, his sword to his side, he had to walk, for Johnny had no horse. He approaches the castle, he tells Kayla "I'm here to save you". Kayla is in awe, but refuses to leave her room on top of the castle, this leaves Johnny confused. Johnny spent the rest of the night outside that castle, waiting for her to let him save her....but she would never come. Johnny goes home, confused and all, until the day came when he realized that he would not yet give up on Princess Kayla. So like an idiot, he goes back to the castle, and asks Kayla, "Princess, will you let me save you now?". Unlike the last time, the princess does decide to show and face Johnny, and she says, "Johnny, you're just not the guy who's supposed to save me. I want a knight to save me, and if you were that knight, I would've known that by now, and would have asked you to save me. But I haven't felt that Johnny, you're just not that guy." As he was caught by surprise, felt a not-so-real slap to the face, and had his feelings hurt, he managed to say "You're beautiful, and you know it as much as I do. But really, It's been ages since you've had a knight to your rescue, and not for a second I thought I was the guy you pictured to do that, but I didn't care much for that, and I wanted to save you because someone like you deserves better than this, but if you can't see that, then you're the fool for wanting to stay in this castle to wait", well, at least that's what he would've said, but instead he kept his words, bid her farewell...and left. And nobody lives happily ever after, just in disappointments and regret.