family?

Honestly, I've never seen myself so close to a knife from all this you guys put me through. I feel like you're more concerned keep me locked down in this hell hole over giving me the smallest amount of trust, and let me live my life, and learn from the choices I've made. I don't even feel like I come "home" anymore, its more of like coming to a place where I'm supposed to sleep, the sense of "home" entirely loses its meaning to me sometimes. I have no place of refuge, why the fuck do you think I go out so much? why do you think I spend all my money of stuff you guys consider "unnecessary", it's because I can't get that feeling of happiness at home, that feeling of contentment. Its fucking sad, how I feel that I can tell my friends a lot more than what I can tell you. You guys act so nice to me when you need something from me, but on the instant, when I say something you don't like, the mood table fucking turns. you guys dont even bother spending time, all you do is work, and all this other shit, "this is all for you", since when did I ask for this? I dont even bother asking for anything, becuase hopefully then you guys will realize whats wrong, but no, you dont. It's fucking sad, but, I feel like I have nothing to come home to. I try so fucking hard, to pull myself together, you don't think I have fucking regrets? no, you probably don't, because all I was ever concerned about was the material things and having fun, as you guys always say, you might as well call me a burden while you're at it. I used to try so hard to please you guys, but I cant really say I did that, and you probably cant either,w ell guess what? Im doing this for myself now, and I'm doing so damn good. I bet you miss the kid I used to be, the on well guess what, I miss the people you used to be, and the family I once had. I hope you're starting to realize that I am so damn to close to 18, and If it ever gets tot aht point, don't be surprised when I walk out your door.