To whom it may concern,

Sigh* Another school night and the last thing that seems to fall upon me is....you guessed it, sleep. I typically wouldn't "double-up" on a day when it comes to blogging, but whatever, I somewhat feel like writing and this will drain my noodle and put me to rest before the end of the hour. Now, where to begin...

It's evident that I've been failing to mention her in recent blog entries, or perhaps I'm fighting the urge to do so. For the 1st time in this roller coaster ride of a "relationship", I'm sure of something. I might say it's best for the both of us to cut it off here, like, all strings detached, no more pretending that it's okay, and for your benefit, enough lame attempts to try and rekindle the fire on my part. I'm tired of it...tired of it all, I wanna go back to the place where we 1st met, when I had nothing but a bag full of questions and doubts, and now that I've got all the answers, I'm no longer sure if I still want them. This was anything but cute, sweet, and cheery, I've had past encounters with other girls to keep me from pretending that this was one of "the best things" that I've come in touch with in a very long while, when the reality is that it was an ugly picture painted with my false realities and the cold truth you've put on my plate that I still haven't finished. Not for a second do I regret feeling the way I did for you, don't get me wrong, you were never a mistake, at one point I really did want this, and I can't take back what I said and felt. But now it's different, we're more far apart now compared to when I first started talking to you out of "boredom", and that night, not for 1 second I thought it would bring me here now....4 months later, writing a blog entry about you. It's funny when I think about it now because when I 1st met you, I WOULD HAVE NEVER IMAGINED...that we would see each other this way, and know each other this well...if we know each other at all. I was just the guy who wasn't too fond of my life, and you were the girl who was forced to sit next to me, and I wouldn't have talked to you for another year, and now we're here. It isn't such a magical or happy ending, but I still manage to remember and somehow smile. I'm letting go cause it's both the right thing to do, and for our sakes. I can't go on like this forever, and I wouldn't want you to settle for someone who doesn't quite make you feel the way you think they should, and I want you to look back on this entire thing in the future and smile, whether you regret it then or not. I guess I want to end this on good terms if that's still possible, cause I know it hasn't been too sweet this past month or so. We seem way tire of this entire thing, and that beginning to develop into us being tired of each other. If it was meant to be, it would've happened, but jokes on me....it didn't. So let's just both move and try and smile when we walk by each other on the street, and I know I seem to need this more than you do, I won't deny this never happened because I'm sure it did, but I'm not sure that fact has gone through your head yet, or if you're just not letting it. I want you to face the truth and go from there, I'm not asking you to come any closer to me and what I feel, but just try and see what I see, and if you think this was a mistake, so be it, but face the fact that a lot of shit happened and you can;t just pretend that it's okay and alright whenever we talk. I can't bring that up to you anymore, cause everytime I bring up the idea of the non-existent "us", it's already bad enough. I just want you to see that, and if you can't, then I'm definitely never going to regret this moment, because walking away from you would be the right thing to do. I'm gonna cut this short with one last line. I either wasn't good enough or messed up along the way to not deserve you, but you never gave it a chance and made your own mistakes,and whether you want them or not, you certainly don't deserve the roses.


Is this goodbye? perhaps. Is this closure? definitely, and that's something you never gave me.